Romansa di Tengah Hutan Belantara

Pagi datang dan bulan bersembunyi
Matahari terbangun dari dengkurannya
Lalu mengusap langit dengan kilauan fajar
Para manusia pun hidup kembali


Sebuah hutan di tengah kota
Sebuah hutan di antara kita
Apa yang telah memisahkan cinta?
Waktu? Jarak? Atau manusia?
Tragedi puitis dihanyutkan oleh masa

"Ini adalah sebuah romansa di tengah hutan belantara"
Begitu sahut mereka


Sekian ribu hari berlalu
Matahari dan bulan silih berganti menjamu bumi
Tiada yang tetap untuk selamanya
Tiada dusta yang akan berlangsung lama


"Ini adalah sebuah romansa di tengah hutan belantara"
Begitu sahut mereka


"Ini adalah sebuah distorsi cinta"
Begitu tersiksanya kita







- Nabilla Utami
20 Februari 2013

Happily Depressed

To my conclusion, it seems to me that I am struggling with depression. Or more like, living with depression since I don't really feel like I'm struggling with it.
I like it's company.
Depression keeps me occupied for a thought or two.




But sometimes I wonder, why do I feel this way?
Why do I constantly find myself drowning my joy into a painful thought of life, death, and all the other things in between?

I am not suffering from any chronic disease, nor any economical crisis. To be honest, the house I rest my head during the night is pretty nice. And the material pleasure that surrounds me during the day is, pleasurable.
 
Safe to say that my life looks perfect.








Perfection bores me.









I want my life to be an adventure, and as cliche as that sounds well it is the truth.
I long for the taste of freedom. But I'm finding myself more and more like a house pet each passing sunrise.

I'm afraid some day I'll wake up, not having the urge to seek freedom and finally surrendering to whatever it is that's always been tying me down.

Or maybe the blame for these sensitive moments are in the absence of a lover? (Here we go again, blaming love and all)

Well, there has been some days where I find myself wishing there was someone who I can call in the middle of the day just to tell them how beautiful the sunlight is and how I can't wait for the moon to come in during the night to match the sun's beauty.

But such person could only exist in my most childish thoughts. Because grown ups don't think about love, all they think about is 'how much money will I be taking home to my wife and kids tomorrow?' Well maybe that is some sort of love, but too often have these adults get trapped in such quest for material things that they tend to forget that true love lies from within.






Love.
What a depressing emotion that is

Antologi Rasa

Antologi Rasa

karya Ika Natassa 

K e a r a
We're both just people who worry about the breaths we take, not how we breathe.
How can we be so different and feel so much alike, Rul?
Dan malam ini, tiga tahun setelah malam yang membuatku jatuh cinta, my dear, dan aku di sini terbaring menatap bintang-bintang di langit pekat Singapura ini, aku masih cinta, Rul. Dan kamu mungkin tidak akan pernah tahu.
Three years of my wasted life loving you.

R u l y
Yang tidak gue ceritakan ke Keara adalah bahwa sampai sekarang gue merasa mungkin satu-satunya momen yang bisa mengalahkan senangnya dan leganya gue subuh itu adalah kalau suatu hari nanti gue masuk ke ruangan rumah sakit seperti ini dan Denise sedang menggendong bayi kami yang baru dia lahirkan. Yang tidak gue ceritakan ke Keara adalah rasa hangat yang terasa di dada gue waktu suster membangunkan gue subuh itu dan berkata, "Pak, istrinya sudah sadar," dan bahwa gue bahkan tidak sedikit pun berniat mengoreksi pernyataan itu. Mimpi aja terus, Rul.

H a r r i s
Senang definisi gue: elo tertawa lepas. Senang definisi elo? Mungkin gue nggak akan pernah tahu. Karena setiap gue mencoba melakukan hal-hal manis yang gue lakukan dengan perempuan-perempuan lain yang sepanjang sejarah tidak pernah gagal membuat mereka klepek-klepek, ucapan yang harus gue dengar hanya, "Harris darling, udah deh, nggak usah sok manis. Go back being the chauvinistic jerk that I love."
That's probably as close as I can get to hearing that she loves me.


Tiga sahabat. Satu pertanyaan. What if in the person that you love, you find a best friend instead of a lover?  

Awkwardness, et cetera.

Tonight the stars thought it might be better for them to stay hidden
They told me something big is going to happen
And two days later there was a dolphin knocking on my doorsteps

I told them, "this is madness!"
They told me I was too blind to realize sooner
They told me the world has gone mad

Where have I been all this time?
Was I too busy trying to disguise myself?
I cannot face a world like this
As far as I could remember, I was only twelve

But that was a thousand and ninety five days ago

I looked at this new world in awkwardness
I have never felt more alone
Everyone looked very sad
and Everything looked almost dead

A sunflower was as cold as winter
and winter became as evil as our dying love

I cannot help anyone here
They all resisted me
I cannot be anyone here
For they refuse to look at me

What have we all become?
Have we lost our hearts somewhere yesterday?
Have we all forgotten what it's like to be human?
Are we even living?

I know I'm breathing
But there is no life.

Should we all die like our love
Or should we try to live?

I have looked down and under for an answer
Left and right, there was no one who would bother
I tried looking up
I saw the stars, but their eyes are all shut

Rakyat Jelata

"Dimana letak kehidupan itu berada?"

Telah lama mereka mencarinya
Telah beredar lama ucapan tentang harta
Namun hingga saat ini yang ada hanyalah harapan hampa

Mereka terdiam
Mereka kecewa
Mereka marah
Namun mereka tak bisa berbuat apa

Mereka hanyalah rakyat jelata
Seperti kita semua

Selalu diperlakukan semena - mena

Siapa yang peduli terhadap kita?







November 2012

Chapter 1

A – Confession

Andre: Essa, gue mau ngomong sesuatu

Alessandra: What is it?

Andre: Gue sayang sama lo sa

Alessandra: Lah kok?

Andre: Gue sayang sama lo dalam arti, gue peduli sama lo saa. I care for you, I want to protect you, I want to be there for you sa. I love you

Alessandra: So… what does this mean then?

Andre: Gue gatau sa, tapi the way I love you is different from the way I “love” other girls

Alessandra: How so?

Andre: Gue bukan sayang sama lo dalam arti gue pengen jadian sama lo sa. I just love you, that’s all

Alessandra: Lo sayang sama gue kayak gimana dre?

Andre: I love you like you’re my own sa. I love you like you’re family already

Alessandra: Oh, well to be honest it's kind of odd. But who am I to judge when I feel exactly the same?

Andre: Really?

Alessandra: Well yes, I can’t deny that what we had was special. Karena gue ngerasain apa itu “cinta” pas gue sama lo dre

Andre: How about now sa? Do you still feel that love?

Alessandra: I love you dre…….. but I can’t love you

Andre: What do you mean?

Alessandra: Maksud gue, kalo gue sayang sama seseorang, apakah gue harus jadian sama dia? Can I just love him without wanting to be together with him?

Andre: It's a bit weird sa, but it’s the way we are now

Alessandra: Exactly dre, gue gabisa jadian sama lo dre lo tau sendiri kan. We’ve been together so many times that once more is just too much

Andre: You don’t know how much its killing me loh sa. Where did we go wrong?

Alessandra: Maybe we’re two people who are meant to fall in love just to know we can’t be together

Andre: So what do we do now?

Alessandra: Jalanin aja lah? I mean no expectations, no plans, no future. Just the two of us, wandering aimlessly through life

Andre: Well then, I got your back sa.

Alessandra: Forever?

Andre: And always

To My Last Heartbreaker

Yes as you can read on the title
I'm writing this song for you
No, I'm not begging for your love
No confessions of feeling blue

The rain starts to pour heavily
As I remember the day I start feeling empty
We were laying down on a warm August day
Our thoughts in the air
And your fingers in my hair

And as my hands start to linger
I hear your words start to anger
"Why, my dear?" I question
But you left in a hurry situation

I followed you to the dark
And then I saw her arms on yours
I hurry out as I was in shock
Reality, tearing down the walls
Walls of our happily ever after
Fading away
One hit after another

"How could you do this to me?"
I asked you bluntly
"Doing what, honey?"
You try to run away from me
Never you confess
All the lies and mess
But now after its all said and done
After goodbye and realizing you weren't the one


How do you feel? I wonder
Was it worth it to leave it all behind?
What was it were you after?
Satisfaction or a chance to rewind?

All these questions now fill the empty spaces between us
We were once so strong
But you just had to let it go


Wait what am I doing?
No, I won't go back to this!
What is it with us
That makes it so hard to just leave it all behind?

Let's just stop right here
And put an end to our story
But I hope one day
You won't wake up filled with regrets
Looking back at your life
And say "oh I'm such a tragic mess!"